give up your books.

the lake district, england

the lake district, england

blank page. a solid line of black flashes as it stands waiting for you to type something. you think. usually people write what they think, so how come you aren’t writing anything? blank page must mean blank mind. but your mind is far from blank. you have a million thoughts running through it. why is nothing on the page, then? why is it so hard to write what you feel? i’ll tell you why...you are afraid. you’re afraid to write your thoughts down because you know once you write them down, you have to face them. you have to look at the words. and they become real. they become more than random thoughts floating around in your head. fantasy becomes reality. the unreal becomes real. we don’t have to look at our thoughts, but we do have to look at the words we write. but in all of this, transferring your thoughts into words on a white page fills that page with color. good or bad, beautiful or ugly, they color the page. bright yellow spatters over the page as you write about the happiest thing that happened to you today. pink swirls start appearing as the words of your loved ones come up. black dark spots appear as you reflect on the worst part of your day. good or bad, it’s all color. and this color brings the blank white page to life. when I was deciding on a title for my blog, “putting print on blank pages” seemed perfectly appropriate. God gave me a big, heavy book. It opens with June 6, 1992, the day I was born, and ever since then, God’s been filling it with experiences and milestones that make me who I am today, on the page of my 18th year. But God is going to finish this book. He will fill the blank, white pages with vibrant, and sometimes dull, colors of my life. Sometimes, I will admit, I want to take this book myself and fill it with my own colors. I am selfish and I sometimes believe that I can write this book better than God can. But I find as I turn the page at the end of the day, that I am not satisfied with my work, in fact, I hate it. So the next morning, I wake up, and I take the book in my hands, and simply hand it up to the Lord. You see, we are a selfish human world. We want to do things ourselves and we hate being told how to live our lives. But God doesn’t want to live our lives for us, He wants us to live our lives for Him. He wants us to trust Him, and let Him do the work. We just get to sit back, give everything over to Him, and obey as He opens each door for us to walk through. Often times, we try to break in through the window instead of patiently waiting for God to open the door for us. We need patience. And sometimes, God will crack open the door ever so slightly, and He gives us a hint into the things we are about to receive, but we must wait. We must not try to push the door open anymore than it is already open. God is behind it, waiting until He is ready to open it for us. So I say to you, give up your books, and wait patiently outside the door. The time will come, and the pages will fill with vibrant, beautiful colors.